Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
