You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
That accounts for only three of the penises
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize