why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
