i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
