It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize