Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
