i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
