a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize