This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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