I just pynch a tree in the face
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
