Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
