thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize