I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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