You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
