Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
