DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
