I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
