Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
