I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
