He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
