The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
