If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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