Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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