I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
