Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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