I wish i was in the wii world.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize