she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
