btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
