I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
