did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
