Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize