Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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