Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
