Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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