y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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