She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
