I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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