I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
