don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
