They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
