even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
