bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
