2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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