She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
