Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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