i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
