But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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