Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
