We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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