I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
