did you get engaged???
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
