Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
