You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
