so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize