I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
