We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
