i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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