i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
please don't ironically join a cult
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