shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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