i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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