It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
