hotel room ftw
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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