How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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