You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
