bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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