i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
