you guys were way drunker than both of me
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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