I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
